Dr. Chartock’s much-anticipated predictions for 2011

The New Year is upon us and, as usual, it falls to me to make prognostications and predictions about what we can expect in the coming annum. Let us remember the rules. I make some of these predictions because I do not want to see them happen and by predicting them I hope to put a hex on them. I make some of them because I want to see them happen, and I am giving them a little push. Finally, there are some predictions you will find here that I really think will happen. It is up to you to figure out which is which.

I predict that:

A national politician, running on a “New Morality” ticket, will be exposed for having a torrid extra-marital affair. The candidate’s numbers will plummet like a stone.

Sarah Palin will position herself to run for president of the United States.

Ralph Nader will announce once again that he is running for president on the “Left is in the Right” party.

Governor Andrew Cuomo will pull out all the stops when it comes to balancing the New York state budget. He will have almost universal newspaper support. The push back from those affected will be fierce.

Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver will risk the enmity of his union allies when he decides to go along with Cuomo the Younger. In a basso profundo voice he will intone, “This too shall pass. In the meantime, we have to recognize how precarious our fiscal position is in New York.” We’ll hear him singing that Kenny Rogers song, “You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em …”

Silver will face an insurrection from his left wing members that will fail miserably when Cuomo starts making calls on his behalf.

Former Republican Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno will be pleased to learn that the Feds have dropped all charges against him.

Team Cuomo, aided and abetted by Rupert Murdoch and his right wing newspaper and electronic agents, will position itself for a presidential run. Look for Cuomo to take opportunities to cut the legs out from under Barack Obama.

SUNY Chancellor Nancy Zimpher will get her way when the Legislature passes the SUNY Empowerment Act. Speaker Sheldon Silver will announce his support for the plan, saying that the Legislature would make sure that every poor student who wanted to go to SUNY would have a place using existing TAP revenues.

The Legislature will pass a historic piece of ethics legislation that will require every elected state official to disclose every penny of revenue that they get from any source. Speaker Sheldon Silver will get great credit for his statesmanship and for “coming around.”

The new Republican Senate Majority Leader, Dean Skelos, will give unprecedented power and resource sharing to his Democratic colleagues. He will be heard to say, “Given the age of our guys, anything could happen and the Democrats could take control at any moment.”

With the help of the FBI, the new Attorney General, Eric Schneiderman, will announce indictments of two Democratic legislators.

A Bronx assemblyman will plead guilty to a felony.

A reporter will be jailed on a gun charge.

Sadly, a popular state senator will pass away.

Former Mayor Ed Koch will give a press conference from his perch on the new Ed Koch 59th Street Queensboro Bridge, denouncing all those people who took his pledge to make the redistricting process a fair one but didn’t do anything about it. He will call them hypocrites and dirty, double-crossing liars. One senior legislator will be heard to say, “Well, what does he want? We named the damned bridge after him.”

Congressman Charlie Rangel will announce his retirement.

Powerful Assembly Ways and Means Chair, Herman “Denny” Farrell, will receive a very prestigious award for service.

The Parks and DEC agencies will be made into a single entity.

The New York City Schools czar will make an extraordinary decision that will make a lot of public school officials very angry. The Legislature will immediately commence hearings.

The Legislative Gazette newspaper will be honored, big time, for educational excellence.

Finally, you, dear readers, will have a healthy and happy New Year.

Originally published in the Legislative Gazette, 12/20/10

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One Comment on “Dr. Chartock’s much-anticipated predictions for 2011”

  1. Glaisne Says:

    Alan,

    Have a healthy and happy New Year. All the best for you and yours.


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